Have you ever looked back at your life, carefully and peacefully, and wondered how you are the person you are today? What are the situations that truly shaped you? What are the joys you remember and the hardships that shaped you? Each memory you recall most likely makes you the person you are today. That can be amazing or it can be a reason to reassess your life and make some positive changes.
When I was a child, 5 years old, I remember vividly my first encounter with domestic violence. At 5 years old, you have no idea what that actually is. You just believe what you see – it’s just your life, your surroundings, your everything. You don’t know any different. I became a survivor then, but had no idea how that incident was going to shape me.
I believe I developed my positive energy and thinking as a way to cope with what I was facing as I grew up. That incident at 5 was my mother, very pregnant with my brother, was pushed down by my father. She was going too slow up the stairs. She handled it by apologizing to my father. To me that shaped my way of thinking – it taught me “to do what the man says” and things will be ok. Had my mother took the time to explain that wasn’t ok or even express how she was trying the best she could, maybe I would have learned as I grew up how to be treated.
I grew up being very kind, caring and a problem solver. I always tried to make things better. Now, I understand how devastating this was. I was a kind, loving, caring mother, but I wasn’t able to teach my children boundaries or what they meant. I wasn’t able to teach my children to stand up for what they believed in. Children learn by example and I feel like I wasn’t a good example of that. Sometimes, love, kindness and caring isn’t enough. Today, thankfully my children and I do understand, and we continue to grow and be the best possible “us” we can be. We all share what we have learned in hopes that we can change the path of others who experience domestic abuse, even friendship abuse.
Life is incredibly beautiful, difficult at times, and blissful at other times. If we all take the time to share our stories, beautiful and the trying times, I believe the world will be a better place. There is hope, we ALL have the power to make changes, and a little encouragement, support, and kindness goes a very long way! These are some of my favorite quotes on living a positive life. The first quote is a reminder where I was and how far I’ve come. I hope you enjoy them and keep them close to your heart ♥️
- “My dad had limitations. That’s what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations, but he meant no harm. It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.”
Gillian Flynn - “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” Coco Chanel
- “Authenticity is everything! You have to wake up every day and look in the mirror, and you want to be proud of the person who’s looking back at you. And you can only do that if you’re being honest with yourself and being a person of high character. You have an opportunity every single day to write that story of your life.” Aaron Rodgers