My Journey to Believing in Myself

Sometimes we are in a situation where we are lost. We all go through difficult times. We may even feel like there is no way out. I know, I’ve been there.

I was going through a difficult divorce. At the same time, my father was dying, I had to sell my home, my mother’s health was not good and my beloved dog, Smooch, was also not doing well. I knew I had to get it together and figure it out – alone. I didn’t know how to change my situation because my thoughts were in constant chaos. I knew I needed to make a change, and I desperately wanted to.

Eventually, I did.

Part of my recovery was yoga and meditation. For me a life saver for sure! I always wanted to bring to fruition an idea I had since I was 12. And I did (check out Tulifts, my #brainsertsthatdontsuck)

I made a decision to only look at the positive in my life and not focus on the negatives surrounding me at that time. I decided that I would dedicate this time in my life to me. In the beginning, it sounded selfish, but I need to learn I mattered, and that my ideas mattered. That is exactly what I did. I started a business with Tulifts sports bra inserts, I invented them to help women feel supported and comfortable when they workout and take care of their beautiful bodies. I became a domestic violence advocate and I volunteer at Lauras House, a shelter for battered women in my town.

Last year, I had a photo shoot for my business. I chose a photographer who saw beauty in me and he helped me realize my self-worth and helped me get my confidence back. Actually, probably for the first time in my life. These photos Ben took of me are so beautiful! The evening we shot these photos, it had been pouring all day and was still cold and windy. It was not a day for outdoor photos in an evening gown, curled hair, barefoot photos!! But, look, they turned out beautiful! I love them and part of the reason they are just so beautiful is because we chose to be positive and have fun (even if it was cold outside).

This past year I’ve modeled even though I have scoliosis. It doesn’t matter if you are not perfect, you are beautiful exactly the way you are. When you are happy from within, it shows. Your confidence can’t be denied when you love who you are from within. It does take work to keep believing in you, but when you realize there is a beautiful shining light in your soul, and it can’t be dimmed by anyone, unless you allow it. I made a promise to myself that I will never let anyone steal my joy! “Love yourself. Enough to take the actions required for your happiness. Enough to cut yourself loose from the drama-filled past. Enough to set a high standard for relationships. Enough to feed your mind and body in a healthy manner. Enough to forgive yourself. Enough to move on.” – Steve Maraboli

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