I had another flashback moment at yoga and I didn’t put two into together until this morning so I wanted to share it with you!
Toward the end of my marriage life was difficult, financially and emotionally. Everything was turned up to the highest degree. I was told repeatedly, if I changed his rules, he would destroy me. This was the point where I found out that my home that my father had purchased for me and my children had $3000 left in our equity line and my ex had asked to be put on the deed to my home.
Unfortunately, my mind wasn’t in the right place and despite all the fighting, I hadn’t had access to that equity account.
Our joint checking account was empty and I was given $300 a month allowance. I got a job at Bath & Body Works and to be honest, I was so grateful to have been given the chance to work. I needed to find a way to make money just to put food on my table because even though we were under the same roof, I wasn’t allowed to eat any of the food that was in our refrigerator that I did not buy. I loved working at Bath & Body Works because I got to get out of the house and meet new people. I continued to work there for two years and made enough money to get by and have some independence.
I also couldn’t afford to have a gym membership anymore and since I had been practicing yoga I knew I could practice yoga alone in my home and get the same benefits. I would go in my closet and practiced yoga but I didn’t want to make any noise. I learned how to hold certain poses for a very very long period of time. I remember one evening I was really distraught and I ended up holding a plank pose for 55 minutes meditating and not even realizing where I was. It was my place of solace. Now when I’m in yoga and we are asked in class to hold a pose, it brings me such great joy that I can hold the pose and actually never fall out of it until were asked to do so by the teacher.
Sharing that story now, I realize how beneficial it was for me. It makes me so happy and full of joy I can walk out of my yoga class and know that I not only accomplished an hour of yoga and meditation, but I’ve accomplished becoming a strong independent woman.
