Kindness

There are so many unprecedented things happening in our lives right now, no matter where you live. Sometimes, things come to the forefront in difficult situations. For me, this is human kindness.

We are all human beings, born with a beautiful canvas. We are created by all of our experiences. As we get a little older, we start to develop our own personality. If that personality is shaped by kindness, love and caring, it becomes our nature.

Looking back, I was raised in a very dysfunctional family. My father was very violent. I later married a very unkind person. At a very young age, I knew this wasn’t the way life should be. I never wanted to become an angry person. I was very fortunate to have neighbors who were there for me always. I learned what a loving, caring home filled with kindness and tolerance was about.

So, can we learn to be kind? #choosekindness

Debra Corley

“Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind.” -Henry James, early 20th century novelist.

I found this amazing article on psychologytoday.com and it talks about exactly this: if you choose to be kind to yourself, it becomes second nature to be kind to others. I agree! Kindness boosts well-being. If you recall the rush of positive feelings you experienced the last time you performed a kind act, you would likely agree that kindness feels good. This distinct sense of satisfaction, the “warm glow” or the “helper’s high” that ignites the brain’s reward systems, is said to be among the drivers of pro-social behavior in humans. Kindness is a moment of human connection.

I believe we all need human connections, but at the moment we have to be careful and stay safe, so I’ve been trying to find unique ways to offer kindness.

For me, donations have been the easiest. I also love reaching out to friends just to listen and see how they are doing.

Remember, we all are born with a kindness (compassion) instinct. I feel it’s a really good time to grow this natural born instinct. Stop, think, and choose to be kind. It will change the world, one act of kindness at a time.

“Agree to disagree” or “agreeing to disagree” is a phrase referring to the resolution of a conflict whereby all parties TOLERATE but do not accept the opposing position. It generally occurs when all sides recognize that further conflict would be unnecessary, ineffective or otherwise undesirable. #agreetodisagree

Oh, if we could all do this respectfully, what a world it could be. While unresolved disagreements can lead to charged conflict between people, agreeing to disagree allows us to feel closer and can also lead to an increased understanding of one another because it requires us to hear the other point of view. If we could all listen, truly listen – that means hearing the facts and understanding others opinions. Sometimes we don’t like facts. But when proven, they should be taken to heart.

When you have a quiet moment, ask yourself what you would do if you really believed strongly in the decision. How would you behave? What would you do? What wouldn’t you do? I like this. Step back and think calmly about both sides of the situation. Let go of ego. See how you feel after you have had time to think.

Here are some principles that I’ve learned over the years, some of which I learned from my therapist over many years of growing.

1. If it’s not going to bring positivity, then why say it? This is my favorite because it’s so true. Before you say anything, ask yourself three things: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? And if the answer is “no”, then it isn’t worth it!

2. If I make a promise I keep them faithfully.

3. Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone.

4. Refuse to talk negatively about others – don’t gossip and don’t listen to gossip. This is sometimes really hard to do and you can be drawn in so easily. I try and change the subject.

5. Have a forgiving view of people. Believe that most people are doing the best they can.

6. Keep an open mind.

7. If someone criticizes you, see if there is any truth to what he or she is saying.

8. Cultivate your sense of humor; laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Today we all just need a little more love, kindness, and patience. Together we can become more tolerant, kind, understanding. I would love to hear how you are getting through this very difficult time in our lives.

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